Believe
by designerleather
Summary: Because the worst part of Believe is the LIE. Rated M for suggestive conversations / sexual ideas. LxLight. Shounen Ai.


bHey all. This is my first story ever uploaded soo… Go easy on me.

Oh what the heck, say what you like… Who am I to restrict people from expressing their opinion? You will anyway =3

+review

Disclaimer:

I do not posses the creative ability to create something as amazing as Death Note and therefore state that this is merely a fanfic and therefore this is merely a figment of my imagination.

Dedication:

I dedicate this fan fiction, mainly, to my amazing Wifey Friend Elena. Who, with her sexually based quirks, has helped me cope with life issues and inspired this, but not in the way you may think.

And I also dedicate this to my cousin Kimm. We may have had our issues but without you I would never have started writing stories of any kind as often as I do. You're my role model and I just wish my stories were half as amazing as yours.

And last but not least, to Greta. Whose outsider opinion inspired me to complete this story/b

.

It's hard to sit in a room with your lover when your instincts tell you he's a killer. This isn't your typical; 'My boyfriend is a killer' story. But for those who don't yet know me. I am L. I've solved seemingly unsolvable cold cases the world over, few people have ever met me, and I'm considered a genius. But if I'm such a genius, why do I spend almost ninety percent of my time with a killer? It's quite simple really. One: Because we're investigating the Kira case. And two: Because I love him.

"Ryuzaki."

I look up slowly. The sound of Raito's voice is brusquely engaging, but lately it startles me. As time passes it becomes more and more apparent that Raito, no matter how much it hurts, is Kira.

"L!"

Woken from my daydream, I turn and face Raito and flinch. His face is closer to mine then I expected.

"Uhh… Yes… Raito… Erhh… What is it?"

I lower my eyes to the floor, my head pounding with a jumbled array of thoughts.

"You… You have frosting on your nose."

"I what?"

"Frosting. On your nose. I noticed it earlier but tried to ignore it. I figured maybe you'd notice. But you haven't, and it's starting to annoy me deeply."

Then he gave a soft smile that he seemed to have 'learnt' recently. An innocent, calming smile. It makes him seem innocent. And it makes me want to believe.

But the best part of believe is the lie.

I wouldn't have thought it possible prior to Raito's statement but I feel as though my cheeks are turning a bmost beautiful ruby red./b

"Ahh, thankyou. Yes I'll err… I'll get that then."

As I move my hand towards my face Raito gently grasps my wrist.

"Allow me." He whispers in his bSekusu Kami/b voice.

This is most definitely obscuring any plans I had to make any progress in the investigation; seeing as Raito is in one of _those_ moods.

He cups my face with his left hand and lovingly brushes the frosting from my nose with the thumb of his right. He sits on the floor in front of me now, licking the frosting from his thumb in a seductive manner.

Like a coward, I stand and walk past him into the kitchen.

I open the fridge door and after contemplating which of the many cupcakes to choose I finally, after at least ten minutes, make my decision. But the longer away from Raito, the more time I had to clear my head and change my train of thought before anything _pops up._ Another twelve minutes pass and I finally work up the courage to go face him. (And in case you were wondering, the cupcake is vanilla with pink icing with a strawberry, dipped in chocolate, on top.)

I shut the door …

"BOO!"

And jump once again.

"Awwh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

He wraps his arms around my waist and presses his lips to the junction between my neck and shoulder.

"Raito, be reasonable."

I try hard to remove myself from his embrace but fail miserably.

"Raito, please, I need to work."

I say, managing to at least add volume to my words.

"No, you need to play. All work and no play makes L-bee-boo a dull boy."

He sucks gently on my neck.

"L-bee-boo? Light what on earth has come over you?"

"I'll make you come over me."

This is too far… I mean… L-bee-boo?

"LIGHT!" I yell "This is bizarre! This is… You're not yourself. I don't know if you're drunk or just plain crazy. I just… Please be sane again."

He lets go off me and I can hear him taking a few steps back.

"L?"

"No. Go away. You've gone too far this time. You expect me to believe you're not Kira but sometimes I'm not even sure if you know who you are. Come back when you learn, Yagami Light."

I hear his footsteps fade as he leaves me. Followed by the click as the door opens and then slam as it closes. Then, as the echoing silence of the empty rooms slowly envelopes me and the pain of what I've said bhits me like a closed fist/b, I cry. For the first time I can remember I cry until my eyes sting and puff up.

Three hours later a large box of sweets arrive at my door, wrapped in black cellophane and accompanied by a small silver card and a black rose.

iChocolates for the one I love, because of how you love them…

I wish to apologise for my actions…

If only you'll listen

But I suppose my true wish is for you to believe me.

And believe in me.

I'm only human, but also in love./i

_Forgive me…_

-Light Yagami

Had he walked through that door minutes later he would've seen the still wrapped box lying a metre or so from where I sit. But he wouldn't have seen the card.

But he hasn't been seen for days. He hasn't been here, he hasn't been home, and he's just disappeared. When he returns I swear…

He looks terrible. His hair's knotted and untidy, he hasn't shaved in days and the recently acquired youthful shine in his eyes has been replaced by a mixture of hurt and guilt. Plus he's drenched.

"Raito?" I whisper.

He lifts his head slowly and gazes at me. All expression gone from his face.

"What you said yesterday, all of it, is because… Because you still believe I'm Kira. Isn't it?" He whispers back, shaking as he speaks.

Whether from the cold or the hopelessness in his voice, or both. I can't bear to see him this way much longer.

"Yes."

I see his shoulders drop and feel an unfamiliar pang of guilt in my chest.

"Why L? Why can't you just believe me?"

"Because the worst part of believing is the lie."

His face acquires a pained expression and bhe seems to die a little more inside./b

"L. Now it's YOU acting crazy. I'm not a killer L. I never could be. I love you. DO you… bWould I lie to you/b?"

In my head I can hear my conscious screaming 'Stop! Don't trust him!' but for once, I ignore my head, ignore my instincts, and go with my heart. And my heart says 'Trust him'. So I walk over and wrap my arms around him.

"Raito? I… I believe you."

One simple sentence seems to make everything right again. He raises his arms and wraps them so tightly around me I feel like he'll never let go. But that's fine with me.

i So I guess the moral of this story is that there's a fine, fine line between a fairytale and a lie. And if the worst part of believing is the lie then the best part must be the magic that makes you believe to start with.

And as for the card. I'm going to keep that on me at all times. In case I ever need a reminder as to why I believe… Or why I love him like I do.

I will keep this simple card with me always, until the day I die. And if I die tonight, that'll be alright, as long a Light's there by my side_. _/i

-L

…a most beautiful ruby red.Lyrics from Panic! at the Disco's song, Slow motion.

…sekusu kami...Japanese for 'Sex God'

…hits me like a closed fist. A reference to the fight between him and Light in which Light punches him twice in the face.

…he seems to die a little more inside. I just happened to be listening to Unfaithful when I wrote that.

Would I lie to you? Lyrics from something I think is by Short Stack.

… die tonight, that'll be alright… Lyrics from Hell of a Ride by Adam Brand.


End file.
